I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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