Who wears a wallet chain?!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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