I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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