I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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