I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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