im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
