Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize