So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
