Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
