Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
