I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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