dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
