I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
