theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
