She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
