Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
