I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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