I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
