omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize