Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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