you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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