i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
