You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
