just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
