I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
