I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
