3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
