the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
