Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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