Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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