can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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