hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize