my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
