A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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