'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
