areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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