I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
