yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
