You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
