Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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