Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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