no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
