I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
