She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
