if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's official drugs can't kill me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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