sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
