I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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