listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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