6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
