absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
