At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
