I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
