We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
