allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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