Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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