His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
