yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
