I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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