Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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