I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
