Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
