do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i've created a new STD.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize