Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
