North Korea, Best Korea!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
