a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize