a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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