That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
